


I hate you

by SaltyShrimpzZ



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blow Jobs, Bottom Umino Iruka, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Sex, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, I Don't Even Know, Iruka is a cutie, Iruka thought Kakashi and Kurenai are together, Iruka worries, Kakashi gets hurt, Kissing, Kurenai likes Iruka, M/M, More tags to be added, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Smut, Top Hatake Kakashi, between men, he loves to play with Iruka, later they do have it, missunderstanding, no gentle sex, when they are not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25864612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyShrimpzZ/pseuds/SaltyShrimpzZ
Summary: Iruka thinks that Kakashi and Kurenai are in a relationship... And Kakashi takes full advantage of it.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	1. The Offer

**Author's Note:**

> Heeey so here is another one of my favorite pairings in Naruto. Hope ya'll like it. This is going to be more than one part ;) See ya at the end!

It was dark and silent on the streets of Konoha. A stumbling figure wobbled on it. The men tried to cover the wound he had on his left side. ****

> _A little more._ < the men thought.

> _Just a little farther… Iruka <_ the men grid his teeth as he applied more pressure on the still gushing wound.

**A few days earlier**

“What a pleasant surprise.” said a female voice slowly walking towards the man leaning on a pillar.

“Kurenai.” said the men who the woman referred to.

“Kakashi, how unusual, you being first to a mission meeting.” Kurenai said laughing.

“I was at the shop nearby.” Kakashi answered.

“I figured something like that. You’re terrible as ever. And here I thought you wanted to be on time.” she replyed.

“Sorry about that.” he said sheepishly.

As she walked next to him they heard the wooden fence door creak. Another Jounin with dark hair and a heftier statue came and gave a short wave to them.  
“Oi, Asuma! Welcome back.” Kakashi said smiling at him.  
“Iruka! It’s nice to see you.” Kurenai said to the much smaller men behind Asuma.  
“Kurenai, are you getting back from a mission?” Iruka asked, smiling at her. They started to chitchat a little and Kakashi looked at him with a slightly puzzled look

> _Iruka…_ < he thought.

He knew that name from somewhere but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He brooded where he saw him, or where he heard his name before…

> _The Hokage Estate! I remember…_ < he thought. > _He was comforting a child when I saw it correctly. Is he the Hokages favorite? At least I saw them laughing and joking together... He is like the sun, so bright and smiley…_ < lost in thoughts he glanced at the Chunin that still chatted with Asuma and Kurenai.

“Kurenai, we are gonna go and grab something to eat. Do you wanna come by?” he asked her and smiled.

“As much as I loved to, but Kakashi and I are kind of in a hurry. Next time, maybe.” she said looking apologetically at them.

“I understand.” Asuma answered his smile never leaving his face.

Iruka on the other hand looked a little sad. He would have loved both of them with him and he wouldn’t mind the other one… Kakashi as well. After all, it had been a long time ago since the three of them did something together like go for dinner and just chat and catch up.

> _That’s how it is? < he thought._ > _Kurenai and Kakashi make a cute couple. He must be smitten with her on his side._ < Iruka thought looking a little sad as that thought crossed his mind.

“Looks like we interrupted them, well then Iruka it’s just you and me. Let’s go then.” Asuma said waving already to the others two Jounin.

“Ah! Ehm yeah okay!” Iruka answered quickly coming out of his train of thoughts. He waved as well and they slowly made their way back to the gate.

“Is that really alright? I mean he is your Lover.” Kakashi said looking after them.

“Oh hush you! We really should get going as well.” Kurenai said blushing a little.

She and Asuma were dating for 5 months now and they kept their relationship a secret. But you really can’t fool Kakashi, he noticed right away.

Kakashi was still staring at them as he watched Asuma and Iruka discuss where they wanna go.

“Say… The guy who was with Asuma…” he was cut off before he even could finish his sentence.

“HELL NO! Don't even think about it!” she screamed at him.

“I didn’t even say anything...yet.” he answered playing offended, while the last word was just mumbled.

“Such a caring person like Iruka is nothing for a Bum like you… You really shouldn’t approach him.” she said looking at them as well.

“Looks like your mighty fond of him.” Kakashi said laughing a little.

“Well he sure is cute. And he is my friend.” she answered closing her eyes. She started walking towards the building where the meeting would be. Kakashi right at her side. As he was walking next to her he couldn’t withstand the urge to take a quick last look at the Chunin.

“Looks like this cute Chunin misinterpreted things between me and you.” he said smirking at him as Iruka looked their way.

> _Is he smirking at me?? How dare he make someone else pretty eyes when he is with her?! And that smirk! Is he that full of himself??_ < he thought shooked and started glaring at the white-haired Jounin.

Kakashi saw it and he gave a small amused laugh from him.

> _So now he is glaring at me, huh?_ < he thought amused. He turned his head back to Kurenai.

“I thought he is your friend? Didn’t you tell him that Asuma and you are dating?” he asked still looking over his right shoulder. Kurenai sighed.

“Well at this point… It would be rather embarrassing.” she said looking down to her feet.  
Kakashi just hummed and walked with her into the room where the meeting was.

Later that evening when they were finally done discussing the new mission and what would be necessary both Kurenai and Kakashi they left the room with a sigh.

“I hate those meetings. Especially when the village elders attending as well.” Kurenai said to her companion. Kakashi just hummed. He was exhausted.

“Well… I’m gonna get going I need to rest before the mission starts tonight...” she said as they both walked outside the building.

They quickly said their goodbyes and walked on the opposite side of the direction.

Kakashi read his book while walking down the street. As his stomach started to rumble.

“I should get something to eat.” he mumbled. He looked to the side and a small smile played his lips.

> _Well I guess I found my place to eat._ < he thought and walked down the dusty alley to the red light district.

The place where he liked the food and the girls was at the far end of the street. As he strolled down the road he saw two of the girls who were working at the ` ** _Sinful Lips_** ` the name of the establishment where Kakashi was heading.

One of the girls saw him and started to smile.

“Hatake-sama~ Lovely evening is it not?” she said coating every word with sugar. The girl right next to her saw Kakashi as well and started giggling and waved at him a little shy.

“Well good evening Hatake-sama. Are you on your way to our establishment?” she asked sweetly and got to his left side.

“Oh! Please let me be your companion for tonight.” the blond one said.

“Oh no! Pick me Hatake-sama! I would love to stay with you.” the shyer one said taking a bit of his sleeve between her thumb and pointer finger and looked cutely up to him.

Both of the girls started to banter which one he should pick.

“Ladies, Ladies… Why fight? I’d rather all three of us have a good time together.” he smiled charmingly and took each of the girls on one of his sides.

Both girls shrieked happily and snuggled on each of Kakashi's sides.

As they walked down a little he heard someone behind them.

“HOLD ON!” the voice behind them yelled.

The girls and Kakashi turned around to see an angry-looking Chuunin standing behind them.  
Kakashi looked surprised to see him. > _So he did misinterpret the situation._ < he thought and started to smile.

The girls looked puzzled and both started to whisper.

> _What’s his problem?_ < whispered the first.

> _I don’t know… And so sudden._ < answered the other one low.

“If your intentions with Kurenai aren’t real I have to ask you to stay away from her!” Iruka shouted. His eyebrows were knitted together in an angry scowl.

“You’re shouting. If you’ll make such a big fuss, you’ll cause trouble for the shops nearby.” Kakashi stated calmly, amused about how the Chunin got so upset about this whole situation.

He looked over to the two girls he was with, the two of them looked more than confused about the whole scenery.  
Kakashi smirked a little under his mask and turned to the two women next to him.

“I am terribly sorry ladies, but I guess we have to see each other another time. I think that I got something to discuss with dear Iruka-sensei.” he said kindly.

The two girls booed at that and started pouting.  
Kakashi chuckled a little and turned to Iruka.

“Come with me.” he said nodding his head to the side to signalize the Chunin to follow.

Iruka gulped and followed silently behind the Jounin. He didn’t know what to expect. Would Kakashi-sensei yell at him? Would he beg him not to tell Kurenai? Iruka was at a loss.  
When Kakashi ushered him inside of one of the Brothels and sat down with him in one of the rooms he knew something wasn’t quite right.  
Kakashi gave his order of drinks and food to the young girl that entered their room and waited for her to come back before he started to speak up.

“So Iruka-sensei…” the white-haired men started and poured himself some sake.

“To come back to your pleading from before… You know that even if you tell me to stay away from her that there will still be times where we have to go on missions together, you know...” he said taking a sip of his beverage.

Iruka gulped again. He knew that very well, but he couldn’t stand the thought of Kakashi being with one of his dearest friends and just play with her and her feelings.  
He decided to be fierce and not let his nervousness get the best of him.

“I… I know that!” he said loudly.

“I just don’t want you to approach her romantically…” he added a little slower.

Iruka felt pathetic. Taking charge of a person's life, especially their love life should not be his concern.  
But he just couldn’t help it. Kurenai was like a family to him and the same goes for Asuma.  
He had this urge to help her, to give something back to her for all the times she helped him and showed him kindness.  
Iruka looked down to his knees where his hands rested in fists.  
Kakashi just watched him, tried to read him.

> _He is acting like a little brother. The knight in shining armor when he is just the pierrot…_ < he thought and took another sip from his sake.

“Why does it make you so angry? Do you like her so much?” he finally asked, tired of the silence.

Iruka didn’t look him in the eyes. “I do…” he replied softly.

Kakashi sighed. “Right… You’ve made a mistake to come to talk to me. Kurenai is free to choose whether or not she dates me. She is a grown woman… Not a child and you should know that.” he said looking at him.  
“If you like Kurenai, you should be talking to her directly and not with me.” he added.

Iruka looked up and into his eyes. He knew that he should rather talk about it with her but he wanted to try and reason with Kakashi.  
In his head, he just couldn't believe that the Jounin was bad at heart.

“I know…” Iruka started.

“And I like her as a friend or family… Just to clarify that. But I am just telling you that philandering is wrong. I don’t want a bum like you coming close to Kurenai-san.” he finished.

> _Hm… He is saying the same thing as Kurenai. Interesting._ < he thought trying to hide a little smile that threatened to show.  
At moments like these Kakashi hated not wearing his mask, but it would be unwise at a moment like this to wear it. He could feel his uncertainty.

Iruka on the other hand gulped again nervously. He just had to say it… maybe he would promise he would give it at least a thought? Or change? Iruka didn’t know what to expect about that what he was going to say… he just couldn’t help himself.

He cleared his throat, to get rid of the lump that was threatening to choke him. He took a deep breath and started:

“If you say that you cherish her and her alone, that you’ll make her happy then I’ll approve you. Otherwise please don’t go near her again.”

He said it… Iruka did. Now he just needed to wait for his reaction.

> _He is a fool to thoughtlessly poke his nose in other people's love life… He doesn’t know anything._ < Kakashi thought to himself and leaned his chin on top of his hand.

“This is ludicrous. I’ve listened to your request. What’s in it for me?” Kakashi asked. He knew it was a bold move but he wanted to know how far he could push this game.

> _He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything… A game like this can be fun once in a while._ < Kakashi thought smirking to himself.

“I’ve been considering… Having someone exclusively out of the village.” he said smirking.

“Exklusiv?” Iruka repeated a little baffled.

“Yes. A Bedroom Companion.” he said in a low voice, clearly loving the reaction the younger men gave him.

That’s how it started. A simple arrangement turned to so much more.


	2. After a long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just porn tbh.... ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I finally got the next chapter done ;)
> 
> Hope ya'll like it!
> 
> See ya at the end!

Kakashi showed him the private Bedroom were they would be undisturbed.

“Go wash… I can help you if you like.” he said with a devilish smirk.

Iruka blushed and headed to the bathroom, declining his offer with a shriek. ” **NO THANK YOU! I CAN WASH MYSELF JUST FINE!** ”

He sighed long when he entered the bathroom and locked the door.

He didn’t know what he got himself into but now? That he actually was inside the room with the Jounin, so there was no turning back now.   
He stripped out of his clothes and folded them into a neat pile and got into the shower. He washed thoroughly just as Kakashi had requested him to do so.   
Iruka was nervous. Was it worth it to become a Jounin’ s plaything just to protect a dear friend from getting heartbroken? He shook his head.   
Of course, it was. Iruka had to do it. He would never forgive himself if Kurenai would come to him one day, with tears flowing down her cheeks telling him that Kakashi just used her.   
The Chunin slapped his hands on his cheeks and tried to calm himself. 

> _I got this!_ < he thought to himself determined. 

He just couldn’t imagine how two men could have sex. Kakashi instructed him to clean his rim and insides as well.   
He didn’t really know why but he did as he was told. No point in disobeying a Jounins order...  
He finished washing and dried himself up quickly. After he was done, he put the Yukata on that was provided by the brothel.  
He stepped outside, clearly not ready for what was coming.   
As he walked around the corner he was greeted by the white-haired Jounin sitting comfortably on a futon and watching the younger men standing in the middle of the room.   
He was smirking.

“Did you wash properly? Like I told you too?” His grin got wider. Iruka felt his face heat up.

This whole interrogation was incredibly embarrassing. The Jounin saw the Chunin’s unease. It amused him. He stood up and walked behind the men.

“Are you still sure you want to do this? Taking her place?” he asked. voice low right behind Iruka’s ear. The younger men gulped.

“Did you ever… had sex?” he purred lowly. “With a man?” he added his hand slowly lifting to Iruka’s side. 

“You know… I am going to mark and lick you at places you’ve never even thought about. The thing about two men having sex is something completely different than with a woman.” 

Kakashi continued and his hand wandered to Iruka’s ass and squeezed, what earned him a small squeak of surprise from the Chunin.   
Iruka started to stiffen his posture. His face felt like it was on fire. The Jounin clearly had a lot of experience that he didn’t and a lot of fun to make him feel that.   
Iruka pressed his eyes shut and bit on his lower lip. Feeling the Chunin stiffen by his words Kakashi grinned a little and he started to go on on his description about what they were going to do. 

“For two men there is nowhere to put it in like with women, so they don’t just use their hands and mouths but there rears to… You at least know that right?” he continued and grabbed his arm. 

He spun him around so that Iruka had to face him now. Iruka looked like a deer in a headlight. His brown eyes were wide with shock from the sudden motion.   
Kakashi lifted his arm a little and took a step closer to him.

“The one being entered has to be attended and prepared. It’s _miserable_.” he said with a small smirk playing around his lips. 

His other hand slipped under Iruka’s robe and slipped upwards to his butt again. He wiggled his pointer finger past the cheeks and pressed against the tight ring of muscle. 

Iruka yelped “St...Stop!” the younger men pressed his eyes shut as he felt the long digit pressed inside. 

“Ow…” Iruka breathed clutching at the Jounin right in front of him. 

Kakashi watched the smaller man holding on to him breathing hard against his shoulder. Clearly he was yet not used to the feeling. 

“How is it with just the tip of my finger?” he asked his voice deep in Iruka’s already ringing ears. 

“I’m going to put something much _**thicker**_ inside you than just my finger.” he added. 

Iruka was trembling, small tears already formed at the corners of his eyes. 

> _I don’t know where my desire for this man comes from… I am unbearably excited to carve myself into this pure body of his._ <   
Kakashi thought pulling lightly at the Yukata to remove it from Iruka’s shoulders. 

“Whether you’ll satisfy me or not depends on your body.” he said simply and started to lay Iruka down on his back. 

The Yukata was pulled off completely as he left it under the younger man for comfort. He worked the one finger inside of Iruka further, trying to get him used to the feeling.   
His face was in a deep frown… partly because he was concentrated but partly because his mind started to wander. 

> _And yet…. I don’t have any special feelings for him… But the image of him, smiling in the light so bright like the sun comes to my mind. Why do I think about this now?_  
_Why does it feel like joy to obtain him… Is it… really joy? Or something else?_ < Iruka jolted as Kakashi brushed against the sensitive spot inside of him. 

“Ah!.. Why- Ahhh...” he tried to speak. “This is your prostate. This is a man’s sweet spot.” Kakashi answered shortly. 

Iruka moaned as Kakashi added a second finger and brushed over the sensitive spot over and over again. Iruka started to moan and mewl, completely foreign with this feeling.   
The Jounin started to scissor his fingers to widen the Chunin under him. Iruka let his head lull to the side, eyes half-open… unfocused and unseeing. He was just feeling.   
Too much and not enough at the same time.   
Iruka could feel his insides curl, his release wouldn’t take much longer. 

“I..haaa… I’m cum… gonna cum…No~” he breathed, almost not able to form any words. 

Kakashi looked at him and grabbed the base of the younger men’s erection. Iruka gasped loudly to much stimulation at ones. He started to grab at Kakashi’s wrists. 

“Noo~ Let go!” he wanted to yell but it sounded more like a groan. The Jounin squeezed at the base of Irukas erected member in an iron grip that left him panting. 

“It will be difficult if you come now.” he said still not budging from where his hand is holding and the other one prepping him. 

“I’m going to put it in.” he breathed next to the withering Chunin. He took out his fingers and placed the tip of his member at the entrance.   
Iruka’s eyes went wide when he felt something much thicker starting to breach his rear. Tears started to flow down his cheeks. 

“Ooow… Aaaaah!” his breath hitched at the intensity. 

> _Damn it’s still tight! But he should be able to take me._ < Kakashi thought breathless. 

“ _ **Relax.**_ ” he said while pushing his throbbing member further into Iruka’s tight heat. 

“I can’t!” he answered his eyes pressed together tears staining his cheeks. 

“There is nothing we can do then…” Kakashi breathed and snapped his hips forward. 

Iruka’s eyes fall open as a piercing pain made his way through his abandon. Iruka and Kakashi shuddered in unison.   
Kakashi waited a moment longer so that Iruka could get used to the feeling as he slowly rolled his hips.   
Iruka was clutching the Yukata under him. His knuckles were white but he started to breathe a little easier now. Kakashi slowly stroked Iruka's sides to calm him down as much as possible.  
His hands hovered over the younger man's erected nibbles. Iruka's breath was getting slowly steadier so he lowered his hands on the sensitive nubs and pinched them between his fingers.  
The Chunin took in a sharp breath but relaxed shortly after. It was like a silent go for Kakashi to continue. The Jounin watched his companion like a hawk.  
He wouldn't want to miss any showing discomfort that the younger man may show.   
It never came. Kakashi wanted to increase the sensation and lowered his head and slowly started to take one of Iruka's nibbles inside his mouth and sucked.  
Iruka moaned softly. He didn't dislike the sensation and it distracted him from the steady subsiding pain in his abandon.   
After a while, Kakashi left his chest with a loud pop. His nibble was red and swollen but the white-haired Jounin could feel that the tight heat around him was not clenching violently   
down on him anymore.  
The Chunin slowly started to open his eyes a little but couldn’t really see anything because his vision was so blurry from the tears that still slowly made their way down his cheeks.   
Iruka took a deep shuddering breath. 

“Ok…” he whispered. 

“Alright then…” Kakashi answered shortly and grabbed Iruka’s knees gently to angle him a little better. 

After he spread them a little further apart he started at a slow pace. He leisurely built a rhythm that Iruka could take.   
The younger men under him started to moan softly again so he knew that at the moment everything was fine.   
After a little while, Kakashi builds up a little more speed snapping his hips with more force.   
The only sounds you could hear in the dimly lighted room were the skin slapping against skin, the rough panting from both men and Irukas moans, and groans.   
Iruka could feel that he wouldn’t last any longer given the first time he almost came if Kakashi wouldn’t have prevented it.   
Kakashi still had a firm grip on him releasing him sometimes to lessen the pressure and when he had the feeling Iruka had calm down a little.   
Although when he could feel Iruka clenching around him with more strength again, he took his aching cock again in an iron grip so he won’t cum.   
It was torture… but pleasurable all the same. 

“I… I caaaah! Haaa… can’t ta… take it… anyuuuuuh… anymore.” Iruka said panting and moaning his words. 

His brain was already to far gone to really say anything, but he managed. Kakashi snapped his hips again making the man under him mewl. 

“You did pretty well so far, Iruka-sensei.” he purred. 

“I guess you earned your reward.” as Kakashi said it a wave of relief crashed over Iruka, finally… finally he would be able to cum. 

Kakashi grabbed his hips and angled himself a little more to the right and then, he started to pound inside of the Chunin. Iruka’s back curled, he had not expected that.   
His whole body was struck with lightning. So much pleasure at once was too much to handle. Kakashi struck every so often against his sweet spot and made Iruka see stars.   
He automatically clenched his legs around the Jounin’s waist and grabbed the Yukata under him. He needed something to ground himself.   
His moans got louder with each thrust Kakashi made, his cock leaking so much precum. 

“I’m cumming! Cumming” was the only thing he was able to manage before he spilled all over his abandon and chest. 

Kakashi, after his thrusts became more erratic, succumbed to his pleasure and came inside of the smaller man.   
As both of the men came down from their high, Kakashi pulled himself out of the tight heat and waited a moment to catch his breath.   
As he turned to the man under him he saw to his amusement that Iruka was out cold. A small smile crept his way up to his face.   
After he cleaned himself under the shower he took a clean cloth with him as he walked back to Iruka who was sleeping peacefully.   
He sat down right next to him and wiped his belly and chest clean.   
After he was satisfied with his work, Kakashi started shuffling over to the small table and took out the new book he bought today and started reading it.   
A few hours later Iruka heard a rustling noise and tried to open his heavy eyes.   
When he finally succeeded and got them open, everything was just a blur so he sat up and rubbed his eyes awake.

“Oh! So you’re awake.” a voice said from across the room. 

Iruka startled and whipped his head around to see who was there. After he saw Kakashi searching for his clothes it dawned on him. He slept with the Jounin.   
Kakashi who was currently with his back to the Chunin spoke further.

“At the beginning, you were a mess but this last time, you clung to me with all your might and shook your hips…”   
he paused a moment. 

“Did you fall for me? Iruka-sensei?” he asked smirking. Iruka couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

He still was processing the fact that he slept with the Jounin, and now he made fun of him? This was humiliating…   
Iruka clenched his hands into fists and said the first thing that came to his mind.

“ _ **No! I hate you!**_ ” Iruka’s whole body shook. 

He was angry but more than angry he was sad and hurt over the words. He didn’t look him into his eyes.   
He avoided him so he wouldn’t get more hurt than he already was. Kakashi tched and looked over his shoulder so he could see the Chunin in the corner of his eyes.

“How uncute… But you wanted this relationship. Don’t forget that.” 

After he said that he stood up and covered his mouth with his clothes. He could hear Iruka say ` _I hate you!_ ` over and over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so there we are!
> 
> I hope ya'll like that one. I am planning to make one or two more chapters for this one :)
> 
> I hope you all stay tuned.
> 
> If ya wanna give me some advice just drop it down by the comments :)


	3. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi is still wounded and thinks about his mistakes with Iruka before he dies...
> 
> Or does he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are! Finally, the story comes to an end. 
> 
> BUT DON'T WORRY!
> 
> I still got one small end chapter on hand. 
> 
> But know I hope everyone will enjoy this chapter and don't forget that I would love to read about your opinion. :)

Kakashi stood outside of a building. He was reading a book he brought this morning.   
But as much as he loved the story so far he couldn’t quite get into it as he would normally.  
He couldn’t quite shake that feeling. A nagging one. Since his last meeting with Iruka, the word echoed inside his head. 

**_“I hate you!”_ **

Kakashi sat down. A pitiful smile showed on his face. He pitied himself getting himself into this mess.   
All he wanted was to play a little game… He didn’t want to get this involved with the teacher.

> _At first, it was nothing. But as our physical connection deepened my heart got pulled along._ <

“Pathetic.” he breathed with a breathless laugh. He hated himself for letting his guard down.

They met 2 to 3 times a week. Sometimes less sometimes more. Kakashi felt himself growing attached to the long-haired man.   
Every time they met he wanted to hold on to him longer. But he knew that he couldn’t.  
Kakashi would dress after they had sex and would say something mean so that he could at least pretend that his feelings wouldn’t be real.

Iruka would reply with _**“I hate you.”**_ over and over again that even after he left those three little words still echoed through his skull and would leave him breathless.

> _Now… Every time he says that he hated me… These words became sharp needles piercing my chest._ < he thought.

> _After our last time I couldn’t bear the pain anymore… so childishly… I retaliated. < _

“I hate you too.” But I couldn’t forget the face Iruka made after I said that. 

> _Actually I wanted to add “Your mouth is dishonest"… but at the end, I just mumbled it into my heart._<

Kakashi stood up and walked down the empty street. Book long forgotten and in his pocket. 

> _I’d hurt him. I fiercely regretted it. For the first time, I realized I love Iruka._ < He closed his eyes. Face directed at the night sky.

When he opened them again he was in the present time again. Clutching his wound that was still very much open and bleeding.

> _I shouldn’t have cared that he hated me. I shouldn’t have wished for anything. But I wanted Iruka…. That’s how I feel._ < clutching his side with more force he stumbled further forwards.

> _Crap…. Is my luck really this bad?_ < he asked himself.

“Iruka…” he breathed.

> _You can say that you hate me. I don’t care what you think of me. Just one more time before I die. I want to see you. I won’t mind if you don’t want to listen to me._  
 _I want to tell you that I love you._ <

He finally reached his destination he was heading for. As silently as he could he got into the house. Still holding his wound he walked to the bed where he laid.   
Iruka was sleeping. His chest softly rose and fell while he breathed. Blood dripped past his fingers already too much to be held back.

“I’m sorry… I’ve never meant to say I hate you.” he whispered. 

He kneeled next to him on the bed, slowly letting his head sink. He stopped just millimeters before his chest. 

He closed his eyes. “Be mine alone… I don’t want to leave you.” he breathed.

He reached to his face. His thumb gently stroked over Iruka’s downer lip smearing blood on it.

“I’m sorry… For all of it. I’m sorry Iruka.” Kakashi softly kissed him on his blood-smeared lips.

After that, he flopped to the side, no longer capable to hold his body up. With a soft thud, he fell off the bed to the wooden ground.

> _I love you…_ < he thought feeling himself blacking out from the bloodless. 

All he could hear someone yelling his name. But all he could think about was 

> _I love you so much…_ <

After he thought that last thought… He fell into a deep dark void.

  
 **“KAKASHI-SAN!!”** Iruka screamed.

He sat next to him. Holding his hand. They had luck. Iruka woke up so quickly. Just a few seconds later and Kakashi wouldn’t have survived.   
Iruka finally let go of the breath he was holding. He still didn’t know why Kakashi had chosen his house. Why he chose him…   
To mock him? To show him something? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he had blood on his lips. Did he kiss him? Iruka honestly couldn’t tell.   
But… he felt relieved. He would lie to himself if he would say that he didn’t like the appointments he had with the Jounin. But he knew that this was something he knew was one-sided.   
The last time they had sex and Kakashi had told him that he hated him too… Something inside Iruka broke.

> _He doesn’t like me the way I do… I know that I always told him that I hated him… but this was just a lie._ <

He scooted a little closer with his chair. He slowly watched over the sleeping and exhausted looking Jounin. He laid his head down next to his arm and watched him.

It didn't take long for Iruka to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Kakashi slowly opened his eyes. His whole body burned with pain. He blinked a few times to get used to the lights.   
After he finally managed to get the room into view and felt something laying on his side. As he slowly turned his head to his left he couldn’t quite trust his eyes.   
Iruka was next to him… sleeping. He wasn’t sure if he still was sleeping. But then he wouldn’t feel any pain… so this had to be true.   
He watched the sleeping man next to him a little closer. Iruka had dark bags under his eyes, surely he wasn’t asleep for long.   
The Chunin was holding his hand close to his face. A small smile played his lips. 

> _Maybe… it isn’t all lost yet_.< he thought to himself.

So he waited for the younger man to wake up.  
When Iruka finally opened his eyes, the room was flooded in daylight that was barely dimmed by the white curtains.

“Finally awake I see.” a familiar voice said. Iruka shoots into a sitting-position.

“Kakashi-sensei! You’re awake!” he said.

Relief started to flood his system. The Jounin smiled at him.

“Sorry for the mess. I bet I scared you didn’t I?” he asked his voice a little raspy.

“Yes…. yes, you did.” Iruka answered. He looked down at his hands.

“Why?” he asked finally.

Kakashi just watched him for a short while.

“Because I had to tell you that I love you…” he said, not louder than a whisper.

Iruka looked up to him. Not sure if he just misheard the older man or if he really just said that he loved him.

“What…?” he asked baffled.

“I said I wanted to tell you that I love you.” Kakashi repeated a little louder.

Iruka could feel his face heat up. So he didn’t imagine it.

“Why me? After everything?” he asked again.

Kakashi frowned a little but sighed and answered Iruka’s question.

> _I guess I owe him an explanation…_ < he thought.

“I know that I wasn’t really kind to you Iruka-sensei. But after a while… Every time you would say you hate me… It felt like needles piercing my heart.   
After I said that I hated you too… and the face you made… I knew I made a terrible mistake. That was the same moment I knew that I liked you more than I wanted to admit to myself..”

This had Iruka silent. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Just as he wanted to tell Kakashi that he felt the same, the Jounin started to talk again.

“I know that I fucked up. And you don’t need to give me an answer… Or talk to me altogether… I just… wanted to let you know that I don’t hate you… That’s all.” Kakashi added slowly and in a low voice as if he didn’t want to tell Iruka that but had the need to do it anyway.

Iruka looked a little stunned before he finally talked.

“Your words and actions did hurt my feelings.” he started slowly.

“But… I am no saint either…. I guess we both are idiots.” Iruka lifted his head and smiled at Kakashi.

“I love you too.” he said lastly.

Kakashi’s eyes widen.

“You mean it??” he asked. Now it was his time to look baffled.

Iruka just smiled and nodded.

“Yes I love you too.” he repeated.

Kakashi looked him in the face. Searching for a lie anything that would tell him this wasn’t the reality and he really was just dreaming.  
Iruka stood up from his chair and got to Kakashi’s side.

“I’m not a good liar… So believe me when I say it. I love you.” Iruka said with a small smile on his lips.

Now it was Kakashi’s turn to get a little bit of color to his face.   
He grabbed Iruka by his arm and yanked him towards him.   
Hugging him.

“I can’t believe it…” he breathed.

Iruka laughed at the sudden attack but hugged him back. They embraced a little longer. Iruka adjusted himself so that Kakashi wouldn’t feel the pain so much.   
Not that he was feeling much beside the warm feeling inside his chest.   
He lifted his head to look in Iruka’s brown, beautiful eyes. Their noses touched softly.

“I’m really happy… Iruka.” the Jounin whispered.

“Me too…” Iruka whispered back.  
Their eyes were roaming over one another until Kakashi finally closed the gap between them. They kissed slowly. It was a gentle kiss.   
Intimate and only for them to get to know each other. Small kisses were peppered over their faces. Both of them mapping one another.  
Half lidded eyes watched each other. 

A smile played on both their lips.


End file.
